Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
