Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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