If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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