I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
