You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
