Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
