I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
