i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
