So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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