i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
