I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
