I'm lost and stupid without you.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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