Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
