Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
