just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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