have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
