hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
