I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
