when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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