how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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