I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
