Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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