Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
