North Korea, Best Korea!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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