You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize