My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
