please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
