I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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