I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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