Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We got so high we made milksteak
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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