my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
