Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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