my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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