Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And then the night went full on bisexual.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
