Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
