is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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