In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize