He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
