i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
