drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
