Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize