those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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