so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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