three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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