Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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