I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
