Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
