question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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