And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
