You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize