Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
