Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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