His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
