Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We are two peas in an std pod
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
