Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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