well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
