she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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