You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
